Midweek Faith Lift
August 7, 2024
Reflections on 12 Years in Ministry
Rev. Deb Hill-Davis
“On Being”
Krista Tippett
July 20, 2024
Plum Village in France is the place Thich Nhat Hanh came in exile as war raged in his country, Vietnam, in 1966. His book The Miracle of Mindfulness, was written as a manual for monks and nuns seeking to be healing forces for people caught on every side of terrible violence.
This plot of land in a village in the French countryside was, during World War II, a site of bitter controversy and bloody reckoning. It is said that here, members of the local community who had participated in the Nazi occupation were executed. This ground was thereafter considered haunted, ruined for habitation or building. But Thay, upon visiting the site and hearing this story, decided that this was precisely where his community should settle. They were called, as he understood, to move towards and attend to the ruptures of this world.
And on the first morning of this retreat, the monk offering a Dharma talk invited each of us to clench a fist with one of our hands. Try this, if you will: move to force that fist open with your other hand. The fist only clenches tighter — as if by its own will, a natural reaction to force. And I invite you to try, then, a counterintuitive approach: cradle the fist with your other hand. With the same naturalness, but a wholly other quality of feeling and response, the fist releases. It softens.
Since I began in ministry in 2012, it feels as though the whole world has a tightened fist that is ready, reactive and poised for a fight, not unlike an adolescent trying to deal with an incomprehensible world. The journey has been to recognize the clenched fist, be with it and then learn to cradle it.
In 2012, Obama was running for a second term and the whole political process appeared to be more normal or typical without clenched fists. I remember a conference I attended at Unity Village where the speaker told us to be mindful that we, as ministers, were visible in our community and required to remain neutral. That was a new stance to me and somewhat uncomfortable, but I did it.
At that time, the fists of the world were not so clenched, so I could lean into ministry and embrace a message of love, light and belonging and acceptance. The most controversial stance I took in the public domain was after the Sandy Hook horror. I wrote a letter to the editor about gun control and limiting access to automatic weapons. I don’t even recall the content, but someone online on the e-version of the Register called me a “tree-hugging Methodist!” Ok, I can go with that! And I wrote subsequent letters about supporting our Muslim friends when the Darul Aqum Islamic Center was defaced in Ames. Supporting the energy of creating a loving community both within these walls and outside them was one focus of my journey as a minister.
When I started that first month in August 2012, I did a series of talks on The Four Agreements for 4 weeks and then another on The Five Unity Principles by Ellen Debenport for the next 5 weeks. I remember sitting on the futon in my office at home on “fifth Unity principle” Sunday crying. When Todd asked why, I replied that after this, I don’t know what else I can say to them. He wisely assured me, “You’ll think of something, I have no doubt!” He knows me very well and he was clearly right about that!
It takes a while to really grow into the “beingness” of ministry and what it means to be a minister while also still being your very human self. It really wasn’t until January 2013 when we had my installation ceremony that I truly began to feel comfortable as minister, and stopped looking over my shoulder for the “real Unity minister” to show up! Ministry is so much more than a “job.” It is a calling and how you show up to answer that call really matters. A special shout out here goes to Rev. Heather for her incredible support and friendship as a fellow Unity Minister. She showed up in a very special way to introduce me to other ministers in AARLA and to people all over Ames. If you know Heather, you know that she knows everyone!!!
The best advice I had as a new minister was from a fellow YOU sponsor, Debbie Allen. She told me, “The first year, you love them, the second year, you learn them and the third year, you lead them.” It was the best advice ever and I followed it! And you all did the same-you loved me, you “learned” me and then together we began to grow in consciousness.
One of the key components that is and continues to be a cornerstone of this, our spiritual community is prayer. One of my first initiatives was to train prayer chaplains and there were 6 people who wanted to participate, including some folks from Des Moines. We continue to have an active chaplain group that holds us all in prayer both on Sundays and throughout the week. John Anderson and Charlene Boll and Mary Nakadate and Liz White were all part of that original group and I still miss their energy and prayer presence. We had the prayer circle at the end of every service until Covid happened and we had to go on the phone for shared prayer, but more about that in a bit.
One of the things they don’t emphasize in Seminary are the more practical aspects of actually running a church! I have shared with you how very much I treasure our mission statement: ”Through the Christ Spirit in us, we create a better church and a better world! So be it!” That statement brings spirituality and practicality into the same place. It is what invited the Angel Garden, the YSS stockings for kids at Christmas, the Pounds for Hounds program, the Harvest of Gratitude potluck and our MICA outreach. We are constantly asking ourselves how we can make UCOA a better church and therefore a better world! Our statement is open ended, practical and real, not “airy fairy” like some of the ones I have seen. I may not know how to transform the world, but I can make my little corner of it “better” for sure!
And we have made it better! A front patio that is accessible to all; a level floor in the Community Room that allows free access for all; the Book Nook which put all our Unity literature in a main traffic flow area, a new roof and a new steeple! Whew! And we paid off the mortgage to boot! Not to mention the plumbing, both indoors and out that has been replaced and/or repaired. That is a lot to accomplish in 12 years! And WE did it together! That has been another defining part of my ministry here—the WE not the “me.” This is not and has never been “my church;” it is our spiritual community. When I am no longer with you as minister, it will continue to be your spiritual community, which is a great statement of your faith and commitment!
We have has a lot of fun together! I learned two things in planning very quickly-consult the ISU home game schedule for both football and basketball BEFORE you plan anything! And be sure to wear only Cardinal and Gold on the platform! I got ISU special REV DEB plates after the Sunday I committed the “sin” of wearing black and gold! One of my favorite memories is of the Sunday Daniel Nahmod was with us! I will always treasure that one. We also took a road trip to Unity Village for a Silent Unity Retreat with Rev. Linda Martella-Whitsett, which was great fun as well as spiritually enriching. We had some wonderful retreats at the Iowa Arboretum with many of my dear minister friends.
I had the honor of leading the AARLA group with my dear friend, Kent McKusick who started at the UU Fellowship the same time I did. We had many World Day of Prayer services when he was part of our service along with Martin Edelson from the Ames Jewish Congregation. I have made many dear friends in Ames who will no doubt be lifelong friends.
And we were all just moving along swimmingly until 2016, Covid and January 6 when things in the outer world just went sour and invaded our sacred space. It wasn’t the “political” stuff that prompted me to speak up, it was the hatred, the clenched fisted unkindness that began to weigh heavily. I spoke strongly about not “othering” and about holding space for both/and, which began to feel very heavy. I have a transgendered child and a pansexual daughter who is presently with a woman. Accepting political actions and subsequent laws, which make my children, and other trans people unwelcome and seemingly unacceptable to the state of Iowa was and continues to be a very, very hard passage as a minister.
One of the blessings of the Covid pandemic was the initiation of our MWF Prayer circle phone call. That lifeline kept us connected in prayer during the difficult early days of the pandemic and continues to do so to this very day. It would take an additional Sunday talk to enumerate all the answered prayers we have experienced since the start of that prayer call. We have prayed for each other, all of you, our leaders and many people outside our church community who have asked us for prayers. We have kept faith and held space for healing, ease and peace. We have prayed for the cradling of the tight fist both individually and collectively, which has personally made it possible to be a minister during this dark and challenging time.
Holding space for the light, being the light and putting the energy of love into this world is the essence of ministry and my journey as minister.
Blessings on the Path,
Rev. Deb