Midweek Faith Lift
December 18, 2024
The Amazing Journey of Love
Rev. Deb Hill-Davis
Spiritual Passages- December 9, 2024
Say It Now Day - December 17
'Think of all the people who’ve helped shape
your life. Isn’t it time you let them know?'
The Say It Now movement owes its origins to Walter Green, a former CEO living in San Diego, and two pivotal experiences that left an indelible mark on his life. The first was a yearlong journey throughout the United States to visit 44 people who significantly impacted his life. This lead to his book, "This is the Moment," where Walter laid the groundwork for the importance of expressing our feelings for others. The second experience occurred when a friend asked him to organize a celebration of life after his passing. Walter declined. Instead, he convinced him to have a living tribute for his next birthday, where his nearest and dearest gathered to celebrate how much he’d meant in their lives. The event was so enriching for everyone that it affirmed Walter’s commitment to make living tributes a normal part of our daily lives. In 2022, Walter officially launched the “Say It Now” movement. Expressing gratitude solidifies relationships and eliminates the prospect of having regrets for things you might have said. It releases warmth. It can even change lives.
We are not self-made. We are blessed to have people in our lives who make a difference. Let's pay tribute to them while they’re here; say thank you now." - Walter Green, founder of the Say It Now movement
Affirmative Prayer for today: Infinite Loving Presence, open a space in my heart for the full expression of love even as I am feeling not-love in my human experience. Amen.
What a great story to begin our Advent week on this amazing journey of Love. And for sure Love is a journey, it is not a place of arrival or a given for us in all the human experiences that we navigate in our world. I love the idea of a living tribute to those who have been so important, meaningful and significant in our life journey. The idea of “Say It Now” is also a powerful affirmation, especially to those who have been instrumental in all that we have learned, how we have grown and matured in all ways and especially to those who have challenged us in all kinds of ways, both upside and downside! Take a moment and call some of those folks to minds as we continue on our Advent journey of love.
Last week our reflection was on the experience of developing our capacity for holding peace and not-peace as part of our Advent journey. This week, we continue that dynamic with the energy of love. We clearly hold the energy of love and not-love as part of this human experience and how to hold that in a way that supports our spiritual growth is the challenge for today. There are many, many people who have been part of bringing us to who we are right now in this present moment. While it is wonderful to think of those easy to love, well, there is also the challenge of not-love. And it is those folks to whom we owe much gratitude, for they are our greatest teachers, like them or not!
We usually don’t move all the way to hate, even when greatly tempted, but all the iterations of “not-love’ are part of our feeling experience. How do we, when really challenged, remain in integrity or wholeness, speak words of truth/Truth, both human and spiritual and hold the energy of not-love and love in the presence of a huge dose of not-love coming your way? That is a tall order, one that I recently experienced in a most unexpected setting and which keeps me quite humble as I continue on this journey of holding love and not-love.
I take great comfort in the words of Richard Rohr who in his December 10. 2024 Blog “Letting God Be God” writes:
It takes a long time for us to allow God to be who God really is. Our natural egocentricity wants to make God into who we want God to be. The role of prophets and good theology is to keep people free for God and to keep God free for people. While there are some “pure of heart” people (Matthew 5:8) who come to “see God” naturally and easily, most of us need lots of help.
I for sure fall into the column, “need lots of help!” It is one thing to talk about maintaining a loving presence and responding with love in the abstract. It is much more challenging to practice what you preach…..for sure, it really is!
So here is the story of my journey with not-love and love, about which I was finally able to laugh after the fact. I had the helping prayers and listening hearts of the regulars in the Prayer Circle to process my experience. I will be forever grateful for them! The background emotional setting for my human responses to this situation is my intense dislike for the outcome of our recent election. I have been holding a WHOLE LOT of NOT-LOVE for the folks who voted for him, especially for the many who Googled “how do I change my vote” right after they had voted. I have been very angry with these folks! Enough said about that, but righteous indignation is a powerful human emotion.
I now find myself at a hotel Christmas party hosted by our Financial Planner. I am alone: Todd is out of town on business. I walk into the seating area, spot a table, with open seats, where a couple is already seated and ask if I may join them. They smile and say, “Sure, join us.” So I put my coat and purse, hat and gloves etc. one of the empty chairs and as I walk away, I hear the woman say, “I’m going to call Joni Ernst and give her a piece of my mind! The President should have whoever he wants in his cabinet!” Breathe, Deb, breathe! Take your drink ticket and get a glass of wine. I had been looking forward to this event, now, not so sure.
A gentleman allows me to go in front of him in the line to the bar. We engage in Iowa small talk about the weather…safe topic! Then I look up and see the news story about two kindergarten kids in critical condition, another casualty of school shootings. I turn to the man and say, “How awful, that is just so awful and wrong.” And he says, “I guess we have to accept that it is a dangerous world out there.” To which I reply, “I don’t think it is right that 5 year old kids should be afraid of getting shot when they go to school! It isn’t right for their teachers, either!” I don’t know at this point whether to stay or just leave. I also am not sure that I am speaking human truth or “T” spiritual Truth, even if unskilled!
I decide to stay and then get in the food line, giving myself space to breathe, and breathe some more. Returning to the table, I engage with my new tablemates, bringing up the weather and then where we each live. Turns out the gentleman knows the street I live on and had several lawn care customers there. We engaged in an enthusiastic conversation about the beautiful tall sycamores on my street and he shares that there is another street, Thompson Ave. with the same trees to which I enthusiastically agree! She says, “No, they are Elm trees!” and he, being a tree expert, nods my way and says, “No, she’s right, they are sycamores!” It gets quiet at our table. She gets another drink. There are 4 empty glasses on the table already. Breathe, Deb, breathe!
When she returns, we are talking about travel, seemingly a neutral topic. I share that we have just returned from Ireland and her response was, “Why go there, it is flat and it rains all the time.” My response, “I found it very beautiful with amazing low mountains and lots of sheep in very green fields. There were beautiful views of the ocean and when it did rain, gorgeous rainbows. And it only rained twice in 14 days.” To which he replied, “Were you on a tour?” And to which she replied, “I want to go to Italy and Greece!” Breathe, Deb, breathe.
Their favorite trip was a Carnival cruise and they had been on 9 of them. We at least could share a love of the Carribbean Sea for a moment until the topic of Covid came up. She immediately proclaimed “Covid was a hoax and no worse than the flu!” At that point, I did say, “I have to disagree with you on that one. Too many people died and I have a friend who has had long Covid and you don’t get long flu and a congregant whose daughter was on life support in Iowa City.” At which point he stated that he had been fully vaccinated at which she glared at me. It was a moment! I have never been face to face with someone who truly believed Covid was a hoax! I have lived a sheltered life, for sure!
He asked me what I did for a living and I said I was a minister, at Unity in Ames. He was familiar with Ames, so we had more neutral small talk. I shared that we are a welcoming and open church and that my mission as a minister was to love and accept all people. She glared. I offered her my unused drink ticket, which she immediately accepted without comment. As I left, I wished them blessings on for a wonderful Christmas holiday and that I hoped she would get her trip to Italy soon. He thanked me for my service and I left. It was a wrap! Yikes!!!!
Next day, Friday, I shared it with the Prayer call team who listened, howled with laughter and brought the whole episode back into balance and love. The best observation was “It sure would be interesting to be an observer at their breakfast table the next morning!” Just like peace, it takes laughter to move us from not-love to love. It has taken me awhile to get there….just laugh and pray.
I leave you with the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, Anger
You need only one or two minutes of mindful breathing or mindful walking in order to re-establish yourself in the here and now, to be alive again. Then you go to the other person, look into her eyes, smile, and say, 'It is so wonderful that you are here, alive. It makes me happy.'" –
I will perhaps get there some day….until then, I am still on a journey with love.
Blessings on the Path,
Rev. Deb