Midweek Faith Lift
March 31, 2021
“From Triumph to Crucifixion: A Lived Reality”
Rev. Deb Hill-Davis
Whatever comes, good or bad, don't make a move to avoid it.
— Maurine Stueart Roshi in Hidden Spring by Sandy Boucher
To Practice This Thought: Meet everything that comes to you with an open heart and a welcoming spirit.
That is a tall order! It makes me wonder if Jesus had an open heart and a welcoming spirit to the events of holy week. We make a lot of his triumphant entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, which is today. In Unity, we then talk a lot about Easter and the resurrection experience the following week on Easter Sunday. Unless you attend the Good Friday service, you don’t hear a lot about the week in between which is called Holy Week. It could be called Hell Week, because it more closely resembles how we might describe Hell, were we to imagine how it is.
Today, I am talking about that Holy Week experience, because I lived it during the week I was in Mexico on vacation with my sister. During that week, we went from “triumphant entrance” into Mexico with lots of fun, sun and laughter to “oh my God, now what do we do?” But more about that in a bit! I would call it the vacation from Hell, and it was, but in truth, it was a Holy Week experience because it was a week that made me whole, which is the true meaning of the word “holy.” It signifies wholeness and that is what I lived during my holy week. I have come to believe that is what Jesus lived during his holy week experience.
Over the time I have been with you at Unity of Ames, I have given 8 Palm Sunday talks. Never have I lived one so up close and personal as this one. We are all familiar with the Palm Sunday story. Jesus goes to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover with his disciples, as he is good Jewish man who honors the holy days of Judaism. He rides into Jerusalem on a donkey, which is a place of honor for a revered person; he does not walk, he rides. He is greeted with honor and affection, palm branches placed on the road before him and shouts of “Hosanna” which is like a prayer. Metaphysically it means, “Deliver us now, awaken now, get started now!”
I can relate very well to the people who shouted “Hosanna” at Jesus! We arrived in Mexico, got off the airplane in the Cabo San Jose airport, saying to one another, let the good times roll! Get through customs, immigration, find the van to the resort and “Hosanna,” let the fun begin! I am off to the pool and out of my boots, jeans and sweater and coat. Bring on the sun, the warmth and the water and that is exactly what we did! We swam in the pool, watched the sunset by the Arches and had a lovely outdoor patio dinner with plenty of social distancing as the resort was not very full. We felt quite safe.
And it was glorious as we sat in the warm morning sun on our balcony which was right by the water, listening to the constant sound of waves crashing on rocks, drinking coffee and watching for the spouting of whales as they swam back and forth right in front of us. And having great “sister” conversation, which we both enjoyed enormously. It was a really good day!
The people following Jesus thought it was a really good day and the start of a whole new epoch for Jewish history whereby Jesus would become their leader and king. Little did they know what was coming in the ensuing days of the week ahead. Little did we know what was coming in the ensuing days of the week ahead. We scheduled our Covid 19 tests required before we could fly back to the US for Thursday and then just forgot about it. We wore masks, used hand sanitizer and if the pool was too “peopley” we didn’t get in, we went to the empty hot tub. Every store we went in required a temperature check and everyone wore a mask…everyone, so we were good. Until we weren’t.
In the Scriptures about Holy Week, Jesus tells his disciples that one of them will betray him that week and they all protest and say no way will they do that to him. He has the Passover dinner with them, washes their feet and then goes to the Garden of Gesthemane to spend the night in prayer, asking for the cup that is before him to be taken away. Like the opening statement today, “Whatever comes, good or bad, don’t make a move to avoid it.” While Jesus prayed and waited for hours in painful, emotional, human anguish, asking for the cup to be taken away, he did not make a move to avoid it.
Rather he prayed for all the strength he needed to be with it and move through it. At the time of his death, he cried out in anguish, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46, feeling abandoned by God in a moment of despair. This was a very human moment for a truly spiritual being whose transformation and demonstration of a greater Truth was well underway. As I began my own crucifixion/transformation experience, it helped to know that I was not alone in feeling abandoned by God.
The process of crucifixion started for us right after we had our Covid tests on Thursday at 11:00 AM. The resort manager came and found us in the pool, saying that Lisa had tested positive for Covid and we needed to exit the pool immediately and go to our room. I was negative, she was positive. He said a lot of other things right then, but I didn’t really hear them, other than go to your room. We were going to have to move to a different building, we could not go anywhere on the property but our room, please pack up and prepare to move. I was still on “Lisa tested positive for Covid” and suddenly in a kind of hell, the hell of fear, the hell of not knowing, the hell of Covid. And so was Lisa. I was negative, but she had it. Oh my God, we are in Mexico, now what do we do?
Of course we immediately tried to figure out where she had gotten it and why did I not get it, too? Then we tracked that she had not been feeling the best for several days, especially the day before, Wednesday. She felt ok on Thursday, so hadn’t thought a thing about it. We both have the aches and pains that come with being 60+ and nothing had been that noteworthy, except in retrospect! What to do? Pray and do the next thing, pray and do the next thing, pray and do the next thing became our mantra and our formula for moving through the coming days, not knowing what, how, when or how bad it would be.
Keep praying, “God please show the way; God is my help in every need; mighty currents of God’s healing love are moving through you now, Lisa.” Keep praying, listen to the Resort Manager, pack, move and pray. When you are in crisis mode, it feels like you are walking through glue and each decision, each step is heavy, murky and unclear. Life on vacation had vanished, replaced by life in the hell of fear and not knowing. Call home, ask for prayers, which we both did. Cancel scheduled activities at the resort, get refunds, show this form, sign that form. It was a blur. And then Lisa said, “You don’t have it, Deb, and I don’t want to give it to you. You should go home on Saturday, (our scheduled departure date.) I could do that because I tested negative and I had my form that said so. A new kind of hell….what do I do?
Well, I did what all stressed out, confused, humans do, I went to Walmart for food. We were out of food in our condo and we could not go to the restaurant and room service was more expensive; we were going to need food! I take great comfort in the fact that despite what was ahead of him, Jesus had a meal on Thursday night with his disciples. It was the Passover Seder, but we in Christianity call it the Last Supper. I made a list and I went to Walmart. I called Uber and I was so rattled, I got in the wrong Uber! I had to keep telling myself that I was negative and it was ok to go to Walmart. We need food, so I bought food.
And I carried two full bags up 3 flights of stairs because the elevator did not stop at the second floor and there was no one in the building because we were now isolated in the COVID wing. Outcasts, isolated, carrying heavy bags, Oh Jesus! Suddenly I felt such empathy, such compassion…..for all who had loved ones with Covid and those who could not be with their loved ones. For all those having to make such difficult decisions about what to do in the face of Covid. Would Lisa end up in a Mexican hospital, would I have to stay here and make those kind of decisions for her? Pray and make her some dinner. Pray some more. That’s what Jesus kept doing, he prayed. So did I.
But I wasn’t getting any answers or any clarity, just more questions, more confusion and more stress and a sleepless night on the couch, my own Garden of Gesthemane. What do I do, stay with my sister or go home? I wrestled all night with the angel until I got my blessing. Several things all happened in a Divine Order sequence. I called and reached a dear friend for prayer, another Unity minister who helped step me through all my feelings to clarity. Bridget and Todd also were so helpful and supportive of whatever decision I made. I will never forget Bridget’s prayer- that I make the right decisions for the right reasons! Wow! I can work with that one
Even though I could escape and get home free, I would not do that. I would stay with my sister in Mexico until we were both clear about when I should leave and she should leave. When she woke up on Friday, I told her that and we both cried. She was so grateful and so was I. After that, things started to fall into place with more ease and grace. The Resort moved us to a much larger space with rooms for each of us. Life was getting better.
She put it on Facebook, so I reached out for prayer support on my FB page and 104 people responded with prayers, 93 in the first 24 hours and not all of them Unity people. I emailed the UCOA Board and received prayer support and offers of help. Thank you all so much! There would still be a lot of tough questions and decisions, but we were together, working together and loving each other through the whole process. There had been a crucifixion of our vacation, but there was truly a resurrection of our bond of sisterhood.
The Booklets “Release and Renew” and “How to Stay Centered No Matter What” became my constant companions. I want to close with a quotation from page 31 of the “Release and Renew” booklet:
All the while this crazy duality experience is taking place, there is….amidst the chaos the wholeness of God of which I am. It never went away because it cannot go away. The wholeness of God is here and now, and when I focus my immediate attention or prayers on it, the nightmare disintegrates…..In my God self it is safe to see all as One, and not only is it safe, it is true and wonderful. What gets crucified is the illusion of separation, fear and suffering……
Blessings on the Path,
Rev. Deb